


Captain America vs. The Terrible Asthma Monster (or How Tony Realized That The Designated Sofa Might Just Be A Place In His Heart)

by Dormammu



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Children, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Pining, Stony - Freeform, Tony Being Tony, asthma monster, just like MY LIFE, old skool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dormammu/pseuds/Dormammu
Summary: Tony finds himself a part of a health education thing, has some regretful ruminations, some revelations, and, finally, gets what he wanted all along.





	Captain America vs. The Terrible Asthma Monster (or How Tony Realized That The Designated Sofa Might Just Be A Place In His Heart)

Tony had no idea how and why he had been roped into wearing a positively ghastly green costume and playing a monster for elementary school children. A monster that would be pushed about by the good and true Captain America. His elementary school self would give him a stink eye just for thinking about it. Yet here he was, in the locker room of some random school, getting ready to jump out at the signal and make some threatening asthma noises.

How did this happen? Well, since the little show was preceded by a doctor's lecture and a Q&A session for both the doctor and Cap, Tony had just enough time to reminisce and regret his life choices.

After they defeated Ultron, which was his fault and no matter how many times Bruce or anyone else said it wasn't, that it was just a really unfortunate chain reaction of unpredictable circumstances, Tony would always know, deep in his heart, that it was him. It was always him. But moving on, since this was a different type of regret, Steve. Cap. Cap was not a regret, far from it! He became a good friend to Tony after Ultron, _they_ became good friends. Cap was always there if Tony needed an ear to cry on or a shoulder to lend. There was always something heavy to lift in his lab and, sometimes a speck of some very important chemical compound would wedge itself into Tony's eye, and if anyone was there to complain to it was Cap, always with a serious look on his face and never making fun of tears that sometimes ended up in Tony's van dyke. That was the kind of friend Cap was to him. Also, there were the drawings, but they had an agreement never to talk about the drawings. However, this was Tony's partially regretful rumination and no one would know if he thought about it now. So, the drawings. Tony had noticed that each time he explained a concept to Cap, Cap would smile at him and the next thing he did was, he'd sit down on his designated sofa (Did Tony mention the designated sofa he had placed in his lab so if Cap felt like it he could sit there and think about his country or do other Cap things? No. Well, he mentioned it now.), take his pen and paper and just sit there and draw for hours. All the while, Tony worked for hours and barely noticed the soothing presence of Captain America in his lab, the soft breathing, the light catching Cap's blond hair, the animated shift of muscles in his arms, his thin, couple of sizes too small shirt straining under the animated shift of his arm muscles... well, all those things Tony did not notice. Clearly he did but that was not the point. The drawings! These drawings Cap worked on, he'd show to Tony later. They were artistic (and by that Tony meant very artistic) representations of concepts or ideas Tony shared with him on that or some previous day. They were ridiculous. Tony of course wouldn't say that to Cap, what with his smiling face whenever he shared his newest creation, his chest all proud and putting that poor T-shirt through trials and tribulations... But he did tell Cap not to show those things to anyone else because they were way too advanced. And Cap said it would be their secret. And quite honestly, he didn't really seem anxious to show them to anyone but Tony. And Tony more than once found himself going through that sketch book, because Cap always left it in the lab, on the designated sofa, and his face would do this thing, with mouth upturning and eyes crinkling, he was not looking at himself in the mirror or anything but he was pretty sure his eyes were crinkling and the more he looked at Steve's designs the more in peril of serious crow feet he was. So he liked and hated the drawings. Mostly loved.

The way he found himself in this school smelling the stinky sneakers and plastic of the green monster costume was an entirely different story. Had nothing to do with the drawings or the designated sofa or the specs of chemical dust and the heavy lifting. And yet it had everything to do with it. Because the more he thought about it, the more he realized, Cap was the guy he'd bring in a designated sofa for, into the sacredest of spaces - his lab, Cap was the guy he'd let handle his machinery, Cap was the guy he'd let see his tears, totally industrial tears but still, water flowing freely out of his eyes, ending up in his moustache and or beard, that's...

So of course, when Cap came to his lab, but instead of sitting on the designated sofa, picking up his "for lab" sketchbook or leaning on a door frame (he always found one to lean on, it was a superpower unto itself) and waiting for Tony to tell him about gravitational waves (the topic Tony had decided to broach on that same day), instead of all that, he came in, looked at him with wide eyes, biting his red lip, and said "I'm so sorry, Tony, for putting you on the spot, but I have a big favor to ask from you." Tony said yes, of course he did. Before Steve even went into details. He just mentioned kids and health education and said "I need you" and Tony was ready to do whatever.

Wearing a green costume and learning a couple of lines qualified as "whatever" and so here he was.

  
The agreed-upon signal was: "And now, Captain America will tell you all about defeating his greatest foe!" The announcer, a teacher whose name Tony immediately forgot, had just said the fateful words. It was time to bust through the door and use his Darth Vader voice.

He did it, busted in, made some asthma sounds. The kids, and there were a lot of kids there, all piped down and looked at him and Cap with fear in their eyes.

"I'm gonna make you wheeze!" he threatened Cap, who gave him a nut-freezing glare and assumed a fighting stance.

"I've told you time and time again, Asthma Monster," Cap said in his overly dramatic Cap voice, "you will pay if you ever show your ugly face again!" But Tony could notice the small wink. It was time for the real show.

"And I told _you_ , Captain America, _my_ ugly face will be the last thing you see before I suck the breath out of you." Maybe he shouldn't have said "suck" that way... Now Cap was supposed to fight him and restrain him with some fake handcuffs.

Cap threw his shield, and it hit Tony... the Asthma Monster, in the stomach (the costume had padding). Tony faked doubling down and falling, and then Cap was on him. "I arrest you in the name of America, Asthma Monster!" he said, putting fake cuffs on his hands.

The children cheered, but before Cap could help him up and mock escort him to the police station for his crimes of allergy, a small group of kids from the front row ran up to them and kicked Tony while he was down. Other kids, the ones that remained seated, started chanting "No more asthma!"

Tony saw a worried look on Cap's face as the small legs kicked at him. It didn't really hurt or anything, since the costume had padding, but it wasn't a great sight either, especially, Tony figured, to an old geezer like Cap.

"See, Cap? These children are already so close. Breathe in deep, kids, that's my green skin emitting allergens into your soft little respiratory systems!" Tony dignifiedly said all that in his gravelly Asthma Monster voice. "You thought kicking me was your idea? It was my idea all along!" Suddenly the kids stopped kicking and stepped away. Ah, the reverse psychology and children's minds. Always a winning combo.

"Quick, go back to your seats, his allergens can't reach you there!" Cap said in his Cap voice, although Tony detected some panic in it.

"But what about you?" a small blonde girl that kicked like a large mule asked Cap.

"I am Captain America! And I have this," he showed everyone an inhaler Tony saw him borrow from the doctor just moments ago. The kids looked at it in awe. "You," Cap said, turning to Tony, "are going to the monster prison!" Instead of walking him to the door, Cap hoisted him up on one shoulder like a potato bag and started walking towards the exit. The kids started cheering again, and Cap waved at them without turning. A loud applause escorted them out.

  
Cap put Tony down on a bench in the locker room. The worry on his face was almost amusing. "You ok?" he said, taking off his helmet.

Tony took off his mask, "You know this thing is padded?" he said slapping the stomach. "I was aware of the danger, Cap, and I always plan ahead."

"Oh. Good. It's just that, seeing you there on the floor, I thought they were hurting you. And all because of me." His face was miserable. Tony had to fix it.

"It's not your fault. Kids can be pretty evil sometimes, Cap. They kick and bully and don't wash their hands ever..."

Cap smiled. Thank god. But then his face clouded over, again. _Oh no_.

"Tony, I... I think..." he started unsuccessfully. "We've been friends for some time now and..." He ran fingers through his hair. Then, out of nowhere he came closer and gave Tony a small, the smallest kiss on the lips. _Oh no_.

"Oh no," Tony uttered softly.

"You don't..." Steve said, taking a few steps back and looking at Tony ashamedly. "I know you don't feel... anything like that. But I had to tell you, _I_ do."

Tony very much did as well, he knew it in that same moment. He got up, went to Steve, who was looking at him uncertainly. "The 'Oh no' was for you, Cap. You're in trouble now." and, crowding Cap against a locker he returned the kiss, made it a much better kiss actually.

"Good," Steve breathed out as they separated. His face looked blissful, like he'd never kissed someone like Tony before. Very much _oh no_.

"I think we need to take this somewhere else," Tony said, giving Steve a small "can't help kissing you if you're this near" peck on the lips. "Gimme a second to take this off and I'll make good on my promise.

Steve turned around and let him change, he didn't even peek. Tony resolved he'd make him peek from then on. Using his wiles.

They exited the school building, the car with Happy listening to some British radio drama was waiting for them. Just before they entered, Steve put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Hey, what promise did you mean? Explaining the gravity waves?"

"No," Tony used his gravelly Monster voice, "you handsome fool! I am going to suck the breath out of you."

The possibility of a bad reception of that one was totally worth it when he saw the blush on Steve's cheeks. And as Steve shut the door, mixed with the loud clicking sound Tony was almost sure he heard something like "You fuckin' better."

 

 -The End-

 


End file.
